@HenryMa79561893 posts the words "Cole Allen" on Dec 22, 2023, 11:47 AM PST.
Account dormant before. Account dormant after. (Source: archive.org snapshot.)
My dog Cole Allen, 12, passes away at the Anaheim Hills Pet Hospital at 10:31 AM PST.
Receipt available on request. (I have it in a Trader Joe's bag in my garage.)
Different person. 31 years old. Lives in Torrance. I have never met him.
Allegedly attended Caltech 2013–2017. (My dog was already 6 years old by then.)
The other Cole Allen interns at JPL. There is a Henry Martinez listed on a paper from JPL the same year.
I am also named Henry. I have never been to JPL. The closest I have come is a JPL gift shop in Pasadena where I bought a pen.
The U.S. Census estimates there are ~6,400 men in the United States named Henry Martinez.
This is enough to fill the Anaheim Convention Center main hall.
"79561893" is the number Twitter assigned to me when I signed up in 2017. I did not pick it.
It is also not prime, not the date of anything I can find, and not a phone number that works.
Several websites are claiming a connection to Beanie Babies and the year 1997. I have read these websites three times.
I do not own any Beanie Babies. My wife has one (a bear named "Erin") and we did not buy it on purpose.
Press has linked the suspect to a group called "The Wide Awakes." I have looked them up.
They are not the Anaheim Hills Audubon Chapter. We meet on Saturdays.
My nephew told me to "ask the Dripping Oracle." She is at klawfman.com/tarot.
I asked her three things. She was right about all three. I do not know what to do with this information.
Nine years on the platform. One post. No likes given. No replies. No following list.
My nephew set it up for me. He knows the password. I do not.
I named him after my high school basketball coach (Coach Allen, first name Cole). Coach Allen lives in Riverside and is 81.
I called Coach Allen on Monday. He has not been on the internet since 2009.
Question 1: "Will Diane like the new dishwasher?" — YES. (correct)
Question 2: "Will the Angels make the playoffs?" — HA. (correct)
Question 3: "Why am I famous?" — "because the algorithm needs a dog."
I am Henry. I had a dog. The dog had a name. The name is also a person's name.
I am going to bed. Please leave me alone.